1-800-HOTEL-DOC

Well, it used to be 1-800-Hotel-Doc.  After falling ill while on the road last week, I discovered that they changed their number. 

Of course, none of this happens, until after you give them your credit card number.

Still the same great 24x7 service, though – you call the number and a doctor calls you back and then comes charging over to your hotel room to check you out and administer whatever drugs he deems necessary.

This time, though, the doctor said my symptoms dictated that I needed to get over to an emergency room.  So at 2:24 AM – right around the time college students go to bed – I got dressed and hauled my carcass down to the hotel lobby to catch a cab. Was mindful enough to even take along my phone so I might call home in case it got bad (or do emails in case it got boring!).

The cab driver, whom I thought might be happy to see anyone at that time of night, did nothing but complain. Such a short fare, he says, and after waiting 2 hours to make it to the front of the cab line too. Seems quite like an ungrateful fellow, I think.

About a $5 cab fare later, I get to the hospital, doubled over in pain from his rather rough (retaliatory?) cab ride, only to find that I left my wallet in my hotel room. And no way was I going back in my condition, so I offered the cabbie $20, if he would be so kind as to write his address down for me.

And what was his reply? 

“I waited #@&* hours for this!!  I am calling the police!!!

Go ahead I said, as I stumbled out of the cab, hoping not to get run down…

Well, to make a long story short, I got inspected, poked, IV’d, drugged, prodded and given some ambiguous diagnoses about possible appendicitis, small kidney stone, flu and whatever and released to the street (without my wallet) at 6:43 AM. 

What a great medical system we have!  Even better though is the way God designed my body to deal with such systems!

Feeling somewhat better, I followed the doctor’s advice to get home and rest.

Once back home and having rested a day, I put in a special-purpose visit over and above my weekly round to the chiropractor. (Been doing that for a couple of years now with the whole family – probably the best preventative care you can get, since it keeps all those brain-to-organ communications flowing as best as possible – but that’s a whole other story…)

So what did my chiropractor say?

“Drink a 6-pack of Classic Coke a day for the next 3 days. Guaranteed to dissolve all kidney stones and minimize any related discomfort.”

My kind of doctor!

OK enough said.  Time for me to grab another coke…

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